1: Without either greater political or magical power than We currently posess, the most We could do would be to teleport him somewhere. And anyway, We believe Typewryter is on the verge of accepting our way of thinking.

2. We ARE making progress. We don’t tell you everything We do!

3. This is the only good part of your idea. Mmm We do love the International House of Pies.

Handsome and suave, Prince Blueblood is the heartthrob of hundreds of young fillies all throughout Equestria.

He is also a total and complete lie!

Though he claims himself a Prince, there is not a single drop of divine blood in his body. We have done some research, and apparently his family was granted a hereditary title some time during Our imprisonment. He is in fact descended from a family of common adventurers and criminals, one of whom was lucky enough to somehow gain Celestia’s favour.

As well as his background, his claimed sophistication is also a sham! His actions while we observed him proved him to be rude, cowardly, and a complete bore.

Also, if you, dear reader, ever get the chance, be sure to catch a glimpse of so-called-Prince Blueblood without his wig and makeup. Not so attractive then, is he?

Rating: D

We will continue to post Our ratings and other similar articles here.

((ooc: its tough enough just keeping track of one site with everything else I’m working on. Tumblr will probably receive my main attention for serious postings and character development, with the forum being for silly stuff (like truth or dare, or if NMM ever gets drunk again…) and stuff that just doesn’t work well in tumblr form (like RP involving more than 2 ponies).))

((ooc: I’m on the forum as nightmaremoon (display name Nightmare Moon). Not sure how active I’ll be there, though.))

How else are We to explain their family-wide psychosis? We have witnessed on numerous occasions Apple family members behaving as if their trees were other ponies!

Not to mention how else they could have spawned a creature so insufferably annoying as Braeburn…

If We would fall for just anypony that stands up to Us, We would be going for Twilight Sparkle, now wouldn’t We?

We have a body now, remember? You threw rocks at it…

Big Macintosh. One of the innumerable members of the incestuous and possibly psychotic Apple clan, Big Mac manages to gain some good points by being the strong, silent type (unlike a certain other Apple family member that will be featured later in this series). While he rarely says much, the few times We have heard him speak, he has shown some intelligence and little of the congenital apple madness common to his family. The freckles on his coat give him a certain air of coltish innocence as well. We must admit that, despite his rather poor family background, We are tempted to determine whether the aphorism “big hooves, big …” holds true in his case.

A solid B+, a good starter for these reviews.

We don’t consider Typewryter or Acel to be really well known… We suppose after we complete the ratings proper, We will add them as a bonus addendum.

((ooc: I hadn’t planned on doing any OC ponies, but I suppose they would be ok to do too.))

It has come to our attention that, during our ill-advised experiment with alcohol, We may have confessed our attraction to a certain purple-maned unicorn mare. In an attempt to counter-balance this, We shall be posting our thoughts and ratings for all the more well known stallions of Ponyville and greater Equestria. We shall be posting these ratings as often as We can, in roughly alphabetical order.

(Which stallions we consider well known may be a bit arbitrary, We admit. Drop Us a note if you think We missed somepony that We should have rated.)