Ohai
Hey Zim. Irkens don’t have sexual taboos, do they? Smart creatures…
…Of course, they don’t have sexuality at all but that’s beside the point.
She’s too young fuh yuh ‘advice’!
Yuh’ve scarred her fuh LIFE!
She already knew about clopping and had her first crush before We approached her. Better she learn the truth about life and sexuality from an honest and experienced…
Forget about the mad scientist! You’re not supposed to tell kids about stuff like that, until they’re old enough, and have had the ‘Talk’.
Why not? We learned about it from you shortly after We were created. Remember? “Oh, Nightmare Moon, that Sky Sprinter, oh how I want to lick his wings and…”
She’s too young fuh yuh ‘advice’!
Yuh’ve scarred her fuh LIFE!
She already knew about clopping and had her first crush before We approached her. Better she learn the truth about life and sexuality from an honest and experienced adult than to learn rumours and lies from the other little fillies.
Now she’ll be able to teach all her friends and classmates the truth, and she’ll be the most popular girl in school.
*Facehoof*
Oh, hi Luna. We’ve just been sharing Our wisdom with the young fillies of Equestria.
By the way, Professor Scientist attacked Us and stole some of Our power and Our backup suit of armour. We have Our forces out looking for him, but you may want to put the royal guards on alert in case he tries something similar with you.
She’s too young fuh yuh ‘advice’!
Yuh’ve scarred her fuh LIFE!
She already knew about clopping and had her first crush before We approached her. Better she learn the truth about life and sexuality from an honest and experienced adult than to learn rumours and lies from the other little fillies.
Now she’ll be able to teach all her friends and classmates the truth, and she’ll be the most popular girl in school.
No, ah mean, WHAT DID YUH TELL MUH COUSIN APPLEBLOOM!?
We gave her some extensive and detailed advice on how to win a colt’s heart. She’ll be able to get anypony she wants using Our winning techniques.
Wh-what jus' happened?
The Professor attacked Us, tried to drain Us of Our power, and stole Our backup suit of armour. When We catch him his suffering will be the stuff of legends… It will make even chaos gods vomit in disgust!
Whats with that prof guy? He never seems to leave you alone.
We don’t know. Actually, this is Our first time encountering him. But it is an encounter he will not forget. That is a promise.
Hey, you! Yes, you, Shadowbolt. I think I know some… useful creature, but I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it. Wanna look (clickable)?
What IS that thing? ((Looks like a decomposing horse))
((ooc: Ah, SCP-682… In reality it’s a partially-decayed whale.))
