If you don’t mind Us asking, why were you married to Pinkie Pie in the first place. Even though nopony but Us seems to realise how dangerous she is, everypony We’ve talked to about her believed that no mortal pony could ever keep up with her.

It’s because We consider you a friend that We are concerned.

You have, of course, come across the Imperial Cult’s tenant “suffer not the alien to live”, yes?

*Nightmare Moon’s bomb squad opens the letter.*

Despite Our interest in scientific investigation, and even given that We aren’t really sure if Discord is male, female, or some combination of both, nor which species’ genitalia it manifests… No thank you.

Well, in the interest of science…

*She teleports Twilight and her to her bedchambers.* Let’s experiment, shall we?

Discord’s back? And We should be afraid of him why? He’s just a rascally clown. How much harm can he do?

Good. Let this pain remind you of how silly it is to get married.

Okay, that’s it. Congratulations, you are now a free colt again.

Okay. We’ll be mailing notice to Pinkie and the Equestrian marriage registry immediately.

Now for the ritual bit. Take this stick and hit yourself with it. *She hoofs him a thin willow rod.*

Are you sure?

Well, Starbuck did say it took him a romp in bed with Us to become a full worshipper…

Certainly. *She gets out a short stack of papers.* Just sign here and here, and put Pinkie’s mailing address here.