haven't spat out anything yet, but I gave her a good spook and asked her about some of our timeline's stuff, like molestia. she cracked, blushing. fucking tyrant. (the one I'm spying on is askcelestiaandluna.)

Well, report to Us if you hear anything of value. We’re most concerned about any hidden resources she may have. Our hints from the future warn that Celestia may have a hidden weapon or army somewhere that We know nothing about.

Felix: I am proposing an idea: If you get married with Corona, merge with her. That way, she's just a personality inside of you that can't take over. Then, you're technically married to her, and she can't do shit. Except flood your thoughts with porn like my gmail.

We’ve done the ‘merge somepony with somepony else’ gambit before. It didn’t work out well.

Felix: Wait, since I technically live in Moon City, somewhat in the palace-- yes, I'm the bastard who kept beating on your window with a crowbar--, wouldn't that make me your possession? Fyre's standing by to strangle me if so.

Of course not. We don’t own the regular inhabitants of the city. In fact, other than the Avengersprite, We don’t own anypony, a claim that Celestia cannot make.

;^ Ah have t' do anythin' yuh say~

Hmm. Well then, We order you to prove the claims you made about sprite anatomy the other day.

*She walks towards her bedchambers.*

apprentice-applebloom:

ask-nightmaremoon:

She’s returned to Equestria. *Nightmare Moon does one last scan, looking for any traces of living ponies.* If Sweetie Belle isn’t here, then, with your permission, We’d like to attempt to destroy this world. We’re not sure if We can, but something as dangerous as this cannot be permitted to threaten ponykind.

Well yer right about that. Go on an’ try, ah don’t want anypony else taken by the darkness.

*Nightmare Moon reaches with her magic into the planet’s core. There, she sets a time-delayed spell, to convert a sizeable portion of the core’s mass to energy.* There, if anything can destroy this place, that should. Let’s leave. Now! *She makes a slashing motion with her horn, tearing open a rift back to Equestria.* After you. *She turns to guard the rift against the press of heartless, buying time for Applebloom to get through.*

Estate? Yuh mean muh stuff? Gone. Am ah Ya possession now?

Yes. You are now a ‘registered familiar spirit of Nightmare Moon’.

So, what orders should We give you first, hm? *Raises eyebrow.*

Hi, black one!

You again!?

Didn’t you blow yourself up?

apprentice-applebloom:

ask-nightmaremoon:

(Applebloom)

Nightmare Moon, that’s…! *Apple Bloom stares in shock at the captured figure*

image You! So you sicced the Heartless on me, huh? And you came to finish what you started?

What? No! Scootaloo, Nightmare Moon had nothin’ ta do with-

image Shut up! What are you doing here with her, anyway? You’re in on it too?

Scootaloo, Applebloom asked Us to help her find you. Where’s Sweetie Belle?

image Sweetie Belle? She’s not in this place! She got away! I don’t know where she is now, not that I’d tell you if I did!

Scoot, we’re just tryin’ ta help…

image Help? HELP?! Help THIS! I’m outta here! *darkness envelops her once more, and she disappears; Nightmare Moon’s tracer spell indicates she has returned to Equestria*

She’s returned to Equestria. *Nightmare Moon does one last scan, looking for any traces of living ponies.* If Sweetie Belle isn’t here, then, with your permission, We’d like to attempt to destroy this world. We’re not sure if We can, but something as dangerous as this cannot be permitted to threaten ponykind.

U-um, s-sign wh-where? *signs in all of the required places, nervously*

Just here, and here, and initial here.

Has the Avenger’s estate already been divided?

Yeah, sure, ah don' mind. Jus' git tuh paperwork, ah'll git tuh next of kin.

*Nightmare Moon gets out a big stack of forms and starts filling them in.* We’ll just need her to sign each of these. This is a bit… on the edge of the law, but might possibly stand up in court. Maybe, if We’re lucky enough to get an open-minded judge.