*Nightmare Moon breaks off a bit of the chocolate and noms it.*

Do not worry. This is enough to make Us happy.

Well, not ‘taken’, per se. We are in a committed long-term relationship with Mythic Swirl, but we both have an certain… 'understanding’.

Whatever you think is important. How you answer will tell Us much about you.

If you need some place to start, why don’t you describe your relationship with her?

tuhpinkavenger:

*A new commercial appears on TVs across Equestria!

A happy, friendly voice is on voice over, as a load of pictures of happy, smiling, heroic-looking actors stand as Nightmare’s guards flash across the screen.

“Hay kids! Have you ever wanted to look awesome in front of all your friends? Have you ever wanted a GUN? Join Luna’s favourite militia, ‘Nightmare’s Army’, today!*

A brief clip is shown, of a Luna impersonator pinning a medal on a smiling colt.

“Even better, sign up your parents to get a FREE PRIZE!

The new MINI-MOON IN A JAR, LIMITED EDITION!

Remember kids: If you love Equestria, or just wanna be really, really cool, or even just want to get out of school, sign up to ‘Nightmare’s Army’!”

Throughout the commercial, subliminal messages play, reading things like “Nightmare Moon is awesome”, and “LORD AVENGER”, and “Brush your teeth!”.*

Well, it’s rather embarrassing now, but when We were younger We got a bit… shall We say… forceful with a few colts We fancied. That, plus the fact that Our portfolio included the creation of dreams, lead to the myth that wet dreams are the result of Us raping stallions in the night.

We don’t care about age. However, We doubt neither the very young nor the very old would be suitable, simply for physical reasons. Bar those that are unable to march, say, at least two kilometres without stop.

WOW! OMG THE NOTES!!

LET’S TRY TO GET 5000000 NOTES!!

We can live without it, of course, but one does quickly grow to miss it after a while.

‘Powers necessary to your station’ means you have the right to take anything or order anypony to do anything if it is in the fulfilment of Our will. In practice, it means you can institute a draft, if you think it’s necessary, or seize property to build public projects.

Now, as for what you can do, you can start by creating and organising Our militia. For now take only volunteers, and train them in basic weapons use and tactics. Oh, and never call them 'meat shields’ to their face, even if the term is completely accurate.

We’ve never eaten a foal, and the second myth is based on something that was taken ENTIRELY out of context.

Well, yes, that part is correct.

Don’t they still spread some of the more fantastic (and entertaining) libels against Us? They used to say that We stalked the night, devouring foals in their beds and raping stallions in their sleep.